Showing posts with label stories. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stories. Show all posts

QUESTION: Who said English is easy?

If you feel English language is easy, please fill in the below blank....

______ I am not a human being.(fill yes/no)

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STORY: Marvelous Answer

A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon in his shop, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come to take a look at his car.
The mechanic shouted across the garage,” Hello Doctor!! Please come over here for a minute."
The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, "So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind 'em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work as a new one. So how come you get the big money, when you and me is doing basically the same work? "

The doctor leaned over and whispered to the mechanic.....

He said: “Try to do it when the engine is running”

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POEM: And you white fellow...

This poem was nominated by UN as the best poem of 2008, Written by an African Kid


When I born, I black
When I grow up, I black
When I go in Sun, I black
When I scared, I black
When I sick, I black
And when I die, I still black

And you white fellow
When you born, you pink
When you grow up, you white
When you go in sun, you red
When you cold, you blue
When you scared, you yellow
When you sick, you green
And when you die, you gray

And you calling me colored?


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STORY: Friends do help, even when they think, they are not...

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.

'I realize its terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed,' she explained. 'I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house.'

'Don't worry,' Jack said. 'We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light.' The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.

Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way.
They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.

But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend. He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked,

'Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north about 9 months ago?'

'Yes, I do.' Said Bob.

'Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?'

'Well, um, yes!,' Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out, 'I have to admit that I did.'

'And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?'

Bob's face turned beet red and he said, 'Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did.' 'Why do you ask?'

'She just died and left me everything!!!!!'

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STORY: Most complex problems do have a solution.

Most complex problems do have a solution. It is only that we don't Attempt to think.


Many years ago in a small Indian village, a farmer had the misfortune Of owing a large sum of money to a village moneylender. The Moneylender, who was old and ugly, fancied the farmer's beautiful Daughter. So he proposed a bargain. He said he would forgo the farmer's debt if he could marry his Daughter. Both the farmer and his daughter were horrified by the Proposal.So the cunning money-lender suggested that they let Providence decide the matter.

He told them that he would put a black Pebble and a white pebble into an empty money bag. Then the girl would Have to pick one pebble from the bag.

1) If she picked the black pebble, she would become his wife and her father's debt would be forgiven.

2) If she picked the white pebble she need not marry him and her father's debt would still be forgiven.

3) But if she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into Jail.

They were standing on a pebble strewn path in the farmer's field. As They talked, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles. As he Picked them up, the sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two Black pebbles and put them into the bag.

He then asked the girl to pick A pebble from the bag.

Now, imagine that you were standing in the field.. What would you have Done if you were the girl? If you had to advise her, what would you Have told her?

Careful analysis would produce three possibilities:

1. The girl should refuse to take a pebble.

2. The girl should show that there were two black pebbles in the bag And expose the money-lender as a cheat.

3. The girl should pick a black pebble and sacrifice herself in order To save her father from his debt and imprisonment.

Take a moment to ponder over the story. The above story is used with The hope that it will make us appreciate the difference between lateral And logical thinking.

The girl's dilemma cannot be solved with Traditional logical thinking. Think of the consequences if she chooses

The above logical answers.

What would you recommend to the Girl to do?

Well, here is what she did ....

The girl put her hand into the moneybag and drew out a pebble. Without Looking at it, she fumbled and let it fall onto the pebble-strewn path Where it immediately became lost among all the other pebbles.

"Oh, how clumsy of me," she said. "But never mind, if you look into the Bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I Picked."

Since the remaining pebble is black, it must be assumed that she had Picked the white one. And since the money-lender dared not admit his Dishonesty, the girl changed what seemed an impossible situation into An extremely advantageous one.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Most complex problems do have a solution. It is only that we don't Attempt to think.


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STORY: My Little Brother

I was born in a secluded village on a mountain. Day by day, my parents plowed the yellow dry soil with their backs towards the sky.

I have a brother who is 3 years younger than me. I wanted to buy a handkerchief, which all girls around me seemed to have. So, one day I stole 50 cents from my father's drawer. Father had discovered about the stolen money right away.

He made me and my younger brother kneel against the wall as he held a bamboo stick in his hand.

'Who stole the money?' he asked.

I was stunned, too afraid to talk. Neither of us admitted to the fault, so he said, 'Fine, if nobody wants to admit, you two should be beaten!'

He lifted up the bamboo stick.

Suddenly, my younger brother gripped father's hand and said, Dad, I was the one who did it!'

The long stick smacked my brother's back repeatedly. Father was so angry that he kept on whipping my brother until he lost his breath.

After that, he sat down on our stone bed and scolded my brother, 'You have learned to steal from your own house now. What other embarrassing things will you be possibly doing in the future? You should be beaten to death, you shameless thief!'

That night, my mother and I hugged my brother. His body was full of wounds from the beating but he never shed a single tear.

In the middle of the night, all of sudden, I cried out loudly. My brother covered my mouth with his little hand and said, Sis, now don't cry anymore. Everything has happened.'

I still hate myself for not having enough courage to admit what I did. Years went by, but the incident still seemed like it just happened yesterday.

I will never forget my brother's expression when he protected me.

That year, my brother was 8 years old and I was 11 years old.


When my brother was in his last year of secondary school, he was accepted in an upper secondary school in the central. At the same time, I was accepted into a university in the province.

That night, father squatted in the yard, smoking, packet by packet. I could hear him ask my mother, 'Both of our children, they have good results? Very good results?'

Mother wiped off her tears and sighed,' What is the use? How can we possibly finance both of them?'

At that time, my brother walked out, he stood in front of father and said, 'Dad, I don't want to continue my study anymore, I have read enough books.'

Father swung his hand and slapped my brother on his face.

'Why do you have a spirit so damn weak? Even if it means I have to beg for money on the streets, I will send you two to school until you have both finished your studies!'


And then, he started to knock on every house in the village to borrow money.

I stuck out my hand as gently as I can to my brother's swollen face, and told him, 'A boy has to continue his study; if not; he will not be able to overcome this
poverty we are experiencing.' I, on the other hand, had decided not to further my study at the university.

Nobody knew that on the next day, before dawn, my brother left the house with a few pieces of worn-out clothes and a few dry beans. He sneaked to my side of the bed and left a note on my pillow; 'Sis, getting into a university is not easy. I will go find a job and I will send money to you.'

I held the note while sitting on my bed, and cried until I lost my voice.

That year, my brother was 17 years old; I was 20 years old.

With the money father borrowed from the whole village, and the money my brother earned from carrying cement on his back at a construction site, finally, I managed to get to the third year of my study in the university.

One day, while I was studying in my room, my roommate came in and told me, 'There's a villager waiting for you outside!'

Why would there be a villager looking for me? I walked out, and I saw my brother from afar. His whole body was covered with dirt, dust, cement and sand. I asked him, 'Why did you not tell my roommate that you are my brother?'

He replied with a smile,' Look at my appearance. What will they think if they would know that I am your brother? Won't they laugh at you?'

I felt so touched, and tears filled my eyes. I swept away dirt and dust from my brother's body. And told him with a lump in my throat, "I don't care what people would say! You are my brother no matter what your appearance is?'

From his pocket, he took out a butterfly hair clip. He put it on my hair and said, 'I saw all the girls in town are wearing it. So, I think you should also have one.'

I could not hold back myself anymore. I pulled my brother into my arms and cried. That year, my brother was 20 years old; I was 23 years old.

I noticed that the broken window was repaired the first time I brought my boyfriend home. The house was scrubbed cleaned.

After my boyfriend left, I danced like a little girl in front of my mother, 'Mom, you didn't have to spend so much time cleaning the house!' But she told me with a smile,

"It was your brother who went home early to clean the house. Didn't you see the wound on his hand? He hurt his hand while he was replacing the window.'

I went into my brother's bedroom. Looking at his thin face, I felt like hundreds of needles pricked in my heart.

I applied some ointment on his wound and put a bandage on it, 'Does it hurt?" I asked him.

'No, it doesn't hurt. You know, when at the construction site, stones keep falling on my feet ...Even that could not stop me from working.'

In the middle of the sentence, he stopped. I turned my back on him and tears rolled down my face. That year, my brother was 23 years old; I was 26 years old.

After I got married, I lived in the city. Many times my husband invited my parents to come and live with us, but they didn't want.

They said, once they left the village, they wouldn't know what to do.

My brother agreed with them. He said, 'Sis, you just take care of your parents-in-law. I will take care of Mom and Dad here.'

My husband became the director of his factory. We asked my brother to accept the offer of being the
manager in the maintenance department. But my brother rejected the offer. He insisted on working
as a repairman instead for a start.

One day, my brother was on the top of a ladder repairing a cable, when he got electrocuted, and was
sent to the hospital.

My husband and I visited him at the hospital. Looking at the plaster cast on his leg, I grumbled, 'Why did you reject the offer of being a manager? Managers won't do something dangerous like that. Now look at you - you are suffering a serious injury. Why didn't you just listen to us?'

With a serious expression on his face, he defended his decision, 'Think of brother-in-law. He just became the director, and I being uneducated, and would become a manager, what kind of rumors would fly around?'

My husband's eyes filled up with tears, and then I said,
'But you lack in education only because of me!'

'Why do you talk about the past?' he said and then he held my hand.

That year, he was 26 years old and I was 29 years old.

My brother was 30 years old when he married a farmer girl from the village. During the wedding reception, the master of ceremonies asked him, 'Who is the one person you respect and love the most?'

Without even taking a time to think, he answered,' My sister.' He continued by telling a story I could not even remember.

'When I was in primary school, the school was in a different village. Everyday, my sister and I would walk for 2 hours to school and back home. One day, I lost the other pair of my gloves. My sister gave me one of hers.

She wore only one glove and she had to walk far. When we got home, her hands were trembling because of the cold weather that she could not even hold her chopsticks. From that day on, I swore that as long as I live, I would take care of my sister and will always be good to her.'

Applause filled up the room. All guests turned their attention to me.

I found it hard to speak, 'In my whole life, the one I would like to thank most is my brother, 'And in this happy occasion, in front of the crowd, tears were rolling down my face again.

Love and care for the one you love every single day of your life. You may think what you did is just a small deed, but to that someone, it may mean a lot.

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STORY: Cannibals

Five cannibals (Man eaters) get appointed as programmers in an IT company.
During the welcoming ceremony the boss says: "You're all part of our team
now. You can earn good money here, and you can go to the company canteen for
something to eat. So don't trouble the other employees". The cannibals
promise not to trouble the other employees.

Four weeks later the boss returns and says: "You're all working very hard,
and I'm very satisfied with all of you. One of our developers has
disappeared however. Do any of you know what happened to her?" The cannibals
disown all knowledge of the missing developer. After the boss left, the
leader of the cannibals says to the others: "Which of you idiots ate the
developer?"

One of the cannibals raises his hand hesitantly, to which the leader of the
cannibals says: "You FOOL! For four weeks we've been eating team leaders,
managers, and project managers and no-one has noticed anything, and now YOU
ate one developer and it got noticed. So hereafter please don't eat a person
who is working."

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STORY: If a girls are computers?

HARD-DISK Girls:
She remembers everything, FOREVER.


RAM Girls:
She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.


WINDOWS Girls:
Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without
her.


SCREENSAVER Girls:
She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!


INTERNET Girls:
Difficult to access.


SERVER Girls:
Always busy when you need her.


MULTIMEDIA Girls:
She makes horrible things look beautiful.


CD-ROM Girls:
She is always faster and faster.


E-MAIL Girls:
Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.


VIRUS Girls:
Also known as "WIFE"; when you are not expecting her, she
comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall
her you will lose something, if you don't try to uninstall her you will lose
everything.....

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STORY: A physical wound heal, but a verbal never heals.

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost histemper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.

The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence He said, You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put knife in a man and draw it out.
It won't matter how many times you say "I'm sorry", the wound is still there.

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STORY: 50 Fun Things To Do In An Elevator

1. Make race car noises when people get on and off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while slapping your forehead and muttering, "Shut up dammit, all of you just SHUT UP!"
4. Whistle the first 7 notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout Cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
7. Shave.
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask, "Got enough air in there?"
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear your upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper, "Ever had a Wet Willy?"
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral."
14. One word: Flatulence!
15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on."
18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back, "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"
19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
20. Meow occasionally.

21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
22. Frown and mutter, "Gotta go, gotta go," then sigh and say, "oops!"
23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
24. Sing "Mary Had a Little Lamb" while continuously pushing buttons.
25. Holler, "Chutes away!!" whenever the elevator descends.
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "Human Head" on the side.
27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce, "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
28. Burp, then say, "Mmmmm.....tasty!"
29. Leave a box between the doors.
30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
31. Wear a hand puppet and talk to the other passengers "through" it.
32. Start a sing-along.
33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"
34. Play the accordion.
35. Shadow box.
36. Say, "Ding!" at each floor.
37. Lean against the button panel.
38. Say, "I wonder what all these do?" and then push ALL the red buttons.
39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
41. Bring a chair along.
42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger, "Wanna see wha in muh mouf??"
43. Blow spit bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
45. Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."
46. Carry a blanket a clutch it protectively.
47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
49. Stare at your thumb and say, "I think it's getting bigger."
50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil fiercely and scream, "BAD TOUCH!

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Story: "appraisal letter"

On a dark and foggy night, a small figure lay huddled on the railway tracks leading to the Chennai station. At once I was held back to see someone in that position during midnight with no one around. With curiosity taking the front seat, I went near the body and tried to investigate it. There was blood all over the body which was lying face down. It seemed that a ruthless blow by the last train could have caused the end of this body which seemed to be that of a guy of around my age. Amidst the gory blood flow, I could see a folded white envelope which was fluttering in the midnight wind. Carefully I took the blood stained envelope and was surprised to see the phrase "appraisal letter" on it. With curiosity rising every moment, I wasted no time in opening the envelope to see if I can find some details about the dead guy. The tag around the body's neck and the jazzy appraisal cover gave me the hint that he might be a software engineer.

I opened the envelope to find a shining paper on which the appraisal details where typed in flying colors. Thunders broke into my ears and lightening struck my heart when I saw the appraisal amount of the dead guy!!!!! My God, it was not even, as much as the cost of the letter on which the appraisal details were printed.... My heart poured out for the guy and huge calls were heard inside my mind saying "no wonder, this guy died such a miserable death"... As a fellow worker in the same industry, I thought I should mourn for him for the sake of respect and stood there with a heavy heart thinking of the shock that he would have experienced when his manager had placed the appraisal letter in his hand. I am sure his heart would have stopped and eyes would have gone blank for few seconds looking at the near to nothing increment in his salary.
While I mourned for him, for a second my hands froze to see the employee's name in the appraisal letter...hey, what a strange co-incidence, this guy's name is same as mine, including the initials. This was interesting. With some mental strength, I turned the body upside down and found myself fainted for a second. The guy not only had my name, but also looked exactly like me. Same looks, same built, same name.... it was me who was dead there!!!!!!!! While I was lost in that shock, I felt someone patting on my shoulders. My heart stopped completely, I could not breathe and sprung in fear to see who was behind......... Splash!!! Went the glass of water on my laptop screen as I came out of my wild dream to see my manager standing behind my chair patting on my shoulder saying, "Wake up man! Come to meeting room number two. I have your appraisal letter ready".

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STORY: 23 Brilliant Doubts - Unanswered !!!!

1. If all the nations in the world are in debt(am not joking. even US has
got debts), where did all the money go? (weird)

2. When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? (to be give a
thought)

3. What is the speed of darkness? (absurd)

4. If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash,
why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? (very good thinking)

5. Who copyrighted the copyright symbol? (who knows)

6. Can you cry under water? (let me try)

7. Why do people say, "you've been working like a dog" when dogs just sit
around all day? (i think they meant something else)

8. Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed? (God knows)

9. Do fish ever get thirsty? (let me ask and tell)

10. Can you get cornered in a round room? (by one's eyes)

12. Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep? (tonight i will stay
and watch)

13. What came first, the fruit or the color orange? (seed)

14. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? (No comments)

15. What should one call a male ladybird? (No comments)

16. If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember
that they forgot? (can somebody help )

17. Can you blow a balloon up under water? (yes u can)

18. Why is it called a "building" when it is already built? (strange isn't it?)

19. If you were traveling at the speed of sound and you turned on your radio
would you be ! able to hear it? (got to think scientifically)

20. If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights
on, what happens? (i don't have a change to try)

21. Why is it called a TV set when there's only one? (very nice)

22. If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the
core of the earth? (this is nice)

23. Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you
legally can't go that fast on any road? (stupid, break the law)

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